Yesterday was the first day back at work and the moment I arrived in the office I was descended upon just like it was still 2017. Even though I had deliberately blocked out my schedule until 11 a.m., people were in my office trying to have a Very Serious Yet Totally Impromptu Meeting with me before I had even plugged in my laptop.
While this meeting was happening, someone else popped by to hover uncomfortably at the door until he realized that yes, I was actually too busy to solve his problem right that moment, so he would come back the second my other meeting ended. And on went the morning.
Finally at some point I closed my door, which I rarely do, but even that is no guarantee of a quiet moment because surprisingly no one respects the closed door. A few weeks ago I was having a really difficult conversation with a colleague and a teammate popped in not once, not twice, but yes, three times.
At home things are chaotic, too, the cleaning folks were scheduled to come and I have been doing all this moving around and re-organizing at home of the studio which has created mess and disorganization everywhere. I got home last night and rushed around for an hour trying to tidy and pick stuff up off the floors and surfaces and by the time the Captain got home for what was supposed to be a chill date night I was sweaty and on the verge of anxiety meltdown.
“I want everything to be different this year but it’s still the exact same,” I said through tears. “I am so frustrated! I want to have a moment to breathe and it feels like I am right back to being pecked to death by ducks!”
One thing I love about him is that he doesn’t run out the door when confronted by such crazy on a Tuesday.
“The difference is that this time we are not giving up!” he said. He was animated and I could feel the energy in what he was saying. “We are going to stick with our goals and not let them fall apart!”
So this morning I planked (three whole seconds! I must be stronger than I know!), and I did my Spanish lesson, and here I am writing this down. My at-least-ten-minute walk will have to wait until after work but like Scarlett said, as God is my witness I will check that task off my daily list today and I will not fail just three days in. Well I am paraphrasing but that’s the gist.
This time I am not giving up so easily.