In mere DAYS I am meeting my boyfriend’s mom (and stepdad and sister and brother-in-law and niece and nephew and assorted other people, the list is long, I am hyperventilating) and last night I started googling maladies I might come down with before Friday night OR that I may already have which is how somewhere on the internet I discovered I had latent tuberculosis? Because I definitely have night chills and sometimes I cough. Or I started coughing when reading the Mayo Clinic article on tuberculosis, who can say.
It’s just that I am nervous because these people are very important in his life (oh did I mention all three of his kids will be there, too? Yes that.) and I am not really so good at making a first impression anyway what with my quirks and opinions and also unfortunate random factoid generator of a mouth/brain that always but always leads to an inappropriate comment.
Also, I don’t get out much.
Also, I like him and it would be sad to be hated by his family.
Also, so many people.
Kennon and Tom and all the people at work who have heard me anxiously overshare about this upcoming trip say nice things like, “Oh you’ll be great! They’ll love you! It will be fine!” and I want to holler, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? ARE YOU WITHOUT BASIC HUMAN FEELINGS LIKE ANXIETY, EMBARRASSMENT, AND SHAME?”
Carol, who knows me very well, said, “Oh girl, let me know if ya’ll break up this weekend!”
Nonetheless I am going (unless my imaginary tuberculosis flares up???) and I have a cute gift for his mom and a secret box of comfort goldfish crackers in my purse for when I need to go alone to the bathroom and eat my feelings. I tried sewing up a cute outfit to wear but my anxiety was infusing every garment and finally I just gave up on that endeavor. Instead I am focused on breathing at a normal rate and standing upright and (maybe?) even enjoying the moments as they come.